I could feel my energy flagging.

I blinked…or I thought that’s what happened.

Trees turned into houses. Fences disappeared. A stop sign popped up out of nowhere.

I slowed the car down and shook my head for a moment.

My lifestyle had caught up to me.

The truth about this craziness and the mantle I’ve taken on for years

Since my dad’s heart attack, I’ve taken a step back to refocus on catching up on my coursework rather than publishing every single day.

In the past, I’d just shrug and stack it on top of everything else. Now, I’m beginning to understand that limitations are needed for sustainability.

There’s never enough time in the day to do everything you want to do.

Priorities are shifted. Tasks are delegated or delayed (sometimes indefinitely). Things that you were hoping to make progress in gain no traction for days, weeks, or months at a time.

The life of a 9-5 parent is chaos incarnate. Just standing upright feels like a challenge, like standing on the top of a tree on a windy summer day.

Being a Night Writer is a choice, and the pacing is very dangerous on a lot of fronts.

I realize now that I’m trying WAY too hard given the status quo, and it’s a miracle that I haven’t paid the ultimate price for it yet.

Let’s munch on this thought…

It’s time to take a break if…

Time management, even with the best intentions, are no match for an overachiever’s ambitions.

I’ve nearly died a few times from sleep deprivation throughout my life from college, to yuppy, to family man.

I’ve collapsed onstage. I’ve collapsed in the office. I’ve been forcibly removed from the cubicle to take a vacation.

Sacrifice is all well and good for the short-term, but the bill always comes due.

You might be pushing too hard if the following 7 things are true:

1. Your energy flags even in the morning commute.

2. You don’t think there’s such a thing as “good enough”.

3. You think pain is an indicator that whatever you’re doing is working.

4. You spend more time completing one task because you keep messing it up.

5. You think “mind over matter” is an amazing aspirational motivational miracle.

6. There’s enough baggage under your eyes that even airlines will charge extra for.

7. You’re obsessed with getting to the next phase when you’re not even making progress with the current stage.

I can hear the younger version of me scoff at these things. I remember when I used to have infinite time, infinite energy, and zero responsibilities. I used to think I could handle anything and complete any task by simply not sleeping.

Those days are long gone, and it’s time to face the reality of aging.

Sustainability is the real game.

There are some things that you must set as being inviolate and non-negotiable for the sake of your existence, your sanity, and your long-term commitments.

Playing Russian Roulette with your life is fun and games until you realize that you’re burning the candle with a flamethrower and that your family is the one that will pay the price for your ambition.

Building a digital heirloom and cultivating prismatic thinking are powerful pursuits, but the price of admission isn’t supposed to be your life.

If you’re a 9-5 parent like me and you’re wanting more out of your life, check yourself, before you wreck yourself (literally).

If any of the above are true for you (as they were for me), then you’re trying too hard. 

Slow down. Success comes from persistence and focus. It’s not a sprint to oblivion. It’s a marathon to the next mile marker.

P. S.

I’m completing Kieran Drew’s “1% Writer” course, and I’m working on something to help you find time and energy, a guide to help you find the nooks and crannies to get a handle on sustainably discovering your own process.

Over the next few weeks, I’ll be writing an email sequence for the first time sprinkled in with a bunch of other thoughts that have turned up as well.