Another attempt at refining what I've been working on for months

If you’ve been reading here for a while now, then you know my story.

I was raised on a pretty typical diet of Asian Americana and the whole story of meritocracy with the wonders of American exceptionalism. My parents tested out of the education system across the Pacific to have a chance to study here, hopping from Idaho to Louisiana to South Carolina. Along the way, I popped out by accident and became the anchor baby.

In a nutshell, they busted their asses to raise me to have every experience that most Asian kids do in the homeland sans the insane pressure to perform and excel to get the next education rung.

The problem is that this also means I got some of the baggage that comes along with it.

“What baggage?” you might ask — the type that basically demands obedience to the system in order to operate safely in it without being denaturalized, deported, and labelled a threat. While this served their generation well, it’s not exactly a guarantee these days that I can rely on.

But that’s why I started writing.

Along the way, I’ve stumbled across many things that have forced me to take a closer look at my identity, how it’s been connected to society, and why I felt like a lot of things just didn’t add up. It took a few years, but I’ve reached the point where I can start articulating this unease with more clarity.

The protocol of digital decoupling

I originally called it “The SAFTI Protocol: Self-Advocation For Technical Introverts.”

Why? Because this addresses both aspects that seem to be boat anchors for people like me…

Self-advocation is just not taught or instilled into us immigrant children.

We aren’t taught to speak up, to question authority, to ask the uncomfortable questions about why society seems to pay lip service to meritocracy while clearly being catered towards the rich and powerful. I don’t blame my parents, though. From what I’ve seen and realized about our education system, it seems to downplay a lot of those tendencies as well.

Technical introverts are the backbone of our society.

You’ve seen them, but you’ve probably overlooked their presence.

These types are the ones who let their work speak for themselves. They don’t like the spotlight. They don’t draw attention to themselves. They are curled up at home reading or programming or tinkering or just…thinking. These individuals love a good time like their extrovertive counterparts, but they won’t open up to just anyone who comes along. Because of that, you have to really pay attention to what they say. If they pipe up in your presence, that’s probably the only opportunity you’ll have to hear what they really think.

Blink, and you might miss that chance.

These people deserve to be acknowledged, but they’re often overlooked because they subscribe to the “work hard, play hard” mantra. I’ve realized that it’s not enough. After being let go from my dream job, I had nothing but an anemic resume and a non-existent digital presence. Don’t even get me started on my “networking” skills.

It took a total of nearly two years before I found myself in a job where I could leverage my skill set and develop this protocol.

I’ve been lucky to work in industry where they are everywhere, and they mostly feel they can be themselves in that environment. Without these people, we wouldn’t have made anywhere close to the amount of advancements that we’ve made as a species.

The irony of what I’ve discovered over the past few years is not lost on me.

Digital Decoupling - Identity rooted from awareness

I’m lucky that I was exposed to so many aspects of life from an early age.

In fact, my experience wasn’t all that different from the other Asian American kids in my cohort. We grew up together, competed against each other, and travelled in similar circles. Outside of the fact that we were a bit scattered across the county, we all had academic pursuits by day, artistic pursuits by night, and some form of physical activity on the weekends.

That was the 80s and 90s…and the dollar had itself only been decoupled from the gold standard for a decade or so. In other words, our parents could still afford to sponsor us in all these endeavors. Now, we’re hard-pressed to maintain even a shadow of that kind of frenetic chauffeuring on a shoestring budget.

Even as I write this, my mind whispers a classic statement:

Crying won’t make anything better. Enduring and finding a way forward is the only thing we can offer to the next generation.

So I say all this to explain that a well-rounded education affords the position to realize that there is a path that enables one to start recentering their identity from within as opposed to the standard narrative that we’re indoctrinated into believing. The more we experience beyond the work/sleep cycle, the more likely we are to start the decoupling process.

The tricky part is that identity is fluid. Staying in-tune with the changes that come is like understanding the Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle. You can know either the momentum or the position, but never both at the same time. So the only thing that we can start with is alternating between the two.

But once you accept this feature of yourself, what once seemed to be in a liquid state becomes a solid foundation from which to build.

From identity, there are three steps that build on each other:

1. Clarity of thought - The ability to resist various forms of propaganda and see the fine print of the social contract, not to escape it, but to navigate and apply critical thinking more readily.

2. Self-mastery - Clear thinking enhances and propels the physical, emotional, and mental processes. Wherever you start from, drawing a bead on your tendencies increases the probability of you progressing faster in each area.

3. Digital footprinting - This is the cherry on top — the problems that you face and overcome through the journey of realigning yourself with the story and skills that you wish to pursue can be shared with others at scale.

Come to think of it, these three aspects are also bi-directional. It’s not just that knowing yourself results in building on them. It’s that they also reinforce that knowledge and experience of being you; a rather elegant perpetual process don’t you think?

Restructuring is a work-in-progress

I realize that this is the umpteenth time that I’ve attempted to refine this idea since deciding that I wanted to focus a bit more. It honestly felt a bit vague as all the larger pieces fell into place, but each revision makes it easier to articulate and reframe.

It almost feels like this entire writing endeavor has been my own “A Christmas Carol” process. I’ve been going through my own past, present, and future, and now that I’ve seen what is to come, I’m waking up in the present and having a choice…

We all have that choice.

On that note, I hope you’ve had a Merry Christmas!