Don't Live Your Life This Way

I glanced behind me as I struggled forward down the path.

In the expandable, black Costco wagon sat my oldest, hunched over his Switch, his left leg in a red cast like a half-dressed superhero. In front of him, looking around with interest, squatted his younger brother, always ready for the next adventure.

I turned my focus back to my destination: a little tent at the entrance of the Mid-Autumn Festival event we were attending. For the first time in over a decade, I was returning, both as a parent and as a representative of a local organization. The last time I was here, I was a performer for the venue.

Life changes fast, and it’s the little choices we make, those little tweaks in our direction, that take us to incredibly different outcomes.

It could have been so different for me.

It’s not the game, it’s how you live it

People play it safe because they’re afraid of judgment.

They don’t fully say “yes” to that opportunity. They don’t complete that course they paid hundreds of dollars for. They don’t finish that RPG game they sunk dozens of hours into.

Here’s why.

For one reason or another, dozens of moments and a multitude of snap decisions shift our futures wildly from success to failure on many levels. We have no idea how things will turn out, but we have little time to consider the implications as well. Because of this, we end up punting or leaving the endeavor by the wayside along the journey, another potential success abandoned too soon.

While there are times when a strategic withdrawal is required, these don’t happen as often as they seem to.

The chicken? Or the egg?

Every “no” gets you closer to the “yes” that matters, but there’s another part of that idea that people miss:

You need to say “yes” first, before you can say “no” to other things.

Starting off with a “no” keeps you static.

Take a chance. Life isn’t guaranteed. It doesn’t matter how “well” you lived or how healthy you are. There’s always a chance that something will come up that you didn’t anticipate or have any idea about. Genetics, the economy, natural disasters, these are just some of the things that you have little to no control over, but can ruin your day regardless of your well-laid plans.

Don’t believe me? Here are some things that I said “yes” to:

• Piano lessons - part of the inaugural class of the first residential arts school in South Carolina

• Karate lessons - gateway to Tae Kwon Do and Tai Chi teacher

• Theater classes - acting in professional productions while teaching

• Chinese classes - working overseas and reconnecting with my roots

• Dance lessons - meeting dozens of people across the nation, including my wife

The reason our lives shape up the way they do is because of the core values that guide our decisions. When I look back at all the moments in my life, I can see mine: family, self-mastery, connection. These are the principles that lead me to where I am now.

Don’t hold back

The hamster wheel in my head spooled these thoughts out as I lugged about a hundred pounds of children around during the event. Life, lived safely, is boring. There are no guarantees that it’ll be long, either.

You don’t get to choose how things turn out, but you definitely have a say in what happens in the moment.

As the great Ms. Frizzle said in “The Magic School Bus” series, “Take chances. Make mistakes. Get Messy.”

P.S What are some pivotal moments in your life where things would have turned out differently?