Not just an exercise

Every action we take has a reason, a motivation, a purpose.

We just don’t think too hard about it most of the time.

We’re wired to do so many things without thinking because it’s all abstracted away through repetition, habits, and routines. After a certain point, it’s automated because we have so much that we need to focus on that could be the difference between life and death. We’re conditioned to see patterns, integrate them into our lives, and then allow them to fade into the background because we’ve evolved for survival.

All well and good, except that it’s not something that’s needed so much now.

Everything we do that we take for granted comes from what we value that gets translated into our principles. We embody what we believe, and that consistency is what defines us as individuals.

Values and principles aren’t just concepts. They’re habits.

It’s the little things

It’s true that you aren’t the same person to everyone.

You have different roles to play to different people. You have masks to wear in public and social norms to adhere to. You follow protocol at work and the rules of the road when you drive. As a parent, a partner, a professional, you have entire sets of actions that you do in each.

At the root of it all, though, is the trust that binds them all together for the people in all three categories.

The values that you’ve clarified for yourself drive and define what you do regardless of what you are doing. For example, cleanliness is one of mine, and I take care to maintain an environment for myself that shows this wherever I go.

• As a parent, I make sure my kids have clean diapers and clothes as often as possible.

• As a partner, I make sure my wife has a generally clean environment at home due to her allergies.

• As a professional, I make sure that my cubicle and lab are clear of clutter and dangerous objects.

The details in what you do show what your values are, and the result is evident based on a series of micro-actions that occur throughout your life.

Check in every now and then

Values-based living is composed of thousands of little decisions and choices that we make each day.

If you do something that doesn’t align with them, then those actions can accumulate a sort of cognitive dissonance. Over time, this builds up stress and anxiety, and the longer it stays out of alignment, the more it will bother you.

Take time out every once in a while for yourself. It doesn’t have to be long. Even a few seconds or a minute or two is more than enough to course-correct or give yourself a moment to pinpoint what’s bothering you. Nipping small issues in the bud before they balloon into larger ones can go a long way towards managing your well-being.

Consistency creates momentum.

Building on a habit

Pick out one small action that aligns with one of your core values.

Track it for a week and see how often you do it. There’s no right or wrong here, it’s just to see how often it occurs and is more of an awareness exercise than anything else. The things that you do without thinking are a part of your life because they’re a part of you.

Let me know what you decide to track!

Next time, we’ll take a look at the difference between the ones you’ve cultivated and the ones you’ve inherited.