The mindset coin

I remember vividly that I had lots of holes in my underpants as a child.

The clothing that I used to wear was from secondhand stores. I didn’t actually start wearing new clothing from a store until I was well into middle school. Most of the time, it was cheap clothing or girl’s clothing (for some odd reason that I can’t recall). Every penny that my parents saved was spent on music lessons, martial arts lessons, buying school supplies…

To this day, I still am incredibly reluctant to spend anything on myself for any reason.

• I wear clothing until people start to notice that it’s falling apart.

• I wait until I absolutely must make a doctor’s appointment.

• I keep shoes until the bottoms are like slippers.

I’m playing Russian Roulette with my well-being.

My mindset was cultivated to be in severe scarcity mode because of the immigrant mentality. These days, it’s more by choice, but I concede that the last point above is one that I can’t keep doing now that I’m past forty.

Scarcity thinking isn’t the best framework for seeing the world.

This is the challenge that I’ve been working through since becoming a family man.

Scarcity vs. abundance

There’s a fine line between seeing the glass half full and the glass half empty.

With the scarcity mindset, you can stare at it for ages and forget that you’re actually thirsty. You only see the glass of water and view it as the only one in the entire universe.

With the abundance mindset, you know that there’s only half a glass, but you know where to get more water, and you’re confident of your ability to locate a source anywhere. Your view of the glass is that it’s only one of many others.

My parents unfortunately instilled the legacy of scarcity to me because they didn’t know any better until later in life.

As a parent, I’m fighting with all my might everyday to avoid passing this on to my own children even as I’m struggling to push myself into the abundance mindset. It’s exceedingly difficult to uproot something that is this ingrained. I’m far, far from perfect, and that’s why I write every single day about challenges in parenting, creativity, and productivity.

It’s like hoarding fruit as opposed to sharing it and saving the seeds to plant more.

It reminds me of the story that Kevin shares about his roller skates with the pigeon lady in “Home Alone 2”. He was so afraid of damaging them that he never wore them. By the time he had the courage, he had already outgrown them. This was his analogy for sharing emotional connections with others, encouraging the lady to try again.

Scarcity is about taking, keeping, and hoarding.

Abundance is about sharing, teaching, and offering.

Only one of these mindsets enable a digital legacy to flourish.

The inversion process

When I first started writing, I was reluctant to share anything about myself and my experiences.

I feared judgment, trolls, and being pitched by gurus.

• It took weeks to stop posting platitudes that everyone else used to grow an audience.

• It took months to begin writing this newsletter to share my lessons and thoughts on improving yourself and discovering your strengths and weaknesses.

• It took years to even begin to consider that my words had any value to the people that I wanted to reach.

Do yourself a favor and stop trying to protect the status quo.

Stop hoarding your knowledge, your beliefs, your experiences.

Start reaching out and sharing what you’ve learned or are learning.

Let others be the judge whether or not what you offer is valuable to them or not. That’s the only way to grow your digital presence along with your digital footprint.

A digital heirloom needs to have both in order to have an impact.

Scarcity wastes your potential. Use it or lose it.

Step into the light

Take a moment to think about areas in your life where you have the scarcity mindset.

• I bet finances is one of them.

• I know time is definitely another along with that.

• I truly hope that love and relationships don’t fall in that category.

Incidentally, identifying aspects where you do have this perspective are great ones to start applying those three words I talked about in the previous issue.

Next time, I’ll talk about one of my worst tendencies and how I’m addressing them.