The more the world changes, the more it really stays the same

I remember in the 90s when I was looking forward to being an adult. I thought that once I got a job that I could play video games all day long.

Boy was I wrong.

There’s always something that needs to be done. The laundry…the dishes…the surfaces…the little Paw Patrol potty…the arbitration of devices and toys…some aspect of family life needs managing from one second to the next. It’s a never-ending process until the kids pass out and the pets are fed and my wife retreats upstairs. Then it’s time for bed and to start the whole thing over again the next day.

So yeah, there’s no time really to do other things, which is why it’s a miracle that I’ve managed to keep writing in the cracks and crevices of the day.

But where there’s a will, there’s a way.

When my kids say that they’re looking forward to being an adult, I ask them what they see me doing. Answer: they see me doing chores like cooking and cleaning. The only thing I use my phone for while I’m “on duty” is to capture writing ideas or to document a moment of daily life to look back on someday.

That’s the biggest thing that hasn’t changed for me: my personal lifestyle.

While my responsibilities have multiplied, I haven’t allowed lifestyle creep to get it’s little talons into me since graduate school. That’s what keeps me grounded. My wife is always encouraging me to treat myself, but I’m very reluctant to do so. The most I do is buy treats for my coworkers once a week and go to lunch with them. Beyond that, my investments in writing are the biggest expenses that I allow for myself (worth it, though).

My wardrobe consists of clothing that I’ve had since college, and my general rule is that if it doesn’t have holes, I’ll keep wearing them. At this point, I have shirts that are old enough to drink.

When it comes to electronics, I only build a new desktop once every 7 or 8 years, and my phone just turned 7 years old this week. These days, technology is only advancing incrementally anyway, and as long as I can write and occasionally play games, that’s more than enough for me. I’m dreading the day when my children want their own.

When I look at my kids, I can only hope that I’m modelling behavior that I want them to adopt. I know the world they will grow up in is going to be very different from mine — the first generation to do so with AI — and that they will have advantages in life that neither I nor my parents did in that sense.

Whatever comes in the next decade, I hope that they’ll be ready for it. They’re going to be digital natives, but that’s not what I’m worried about. What keeps me up at night is the thought that the more things change, the more they stay the same. Human nature just gets ported from one medium to the next.

That’s the challenge that I face as a parent and a role model…

There’s hope, though.

I had a conversation with my oldest child the other day.

It went something like this:

“Dad, when I grow up, I want to buy all the Robux that I can for Roblox.”

“When you’re old enough, that won’t be the most important thing in your life by far.”

“What?”

“You’ll have to take care of yourself when you’re on your own, and someday, you might even have a family.”

“…Yeah, you’re right. I’ll have to make enough so that I have enough left over to buy Robux.”

Somewhere in the back of my mind, I let out a small sigh of relief. At least he has enough sense to realize that there are priorities. Not like I’m going to let them starve or anything if they get strapped for cash someday, but at the very least, some practical skills must be internalized.

And it’s never too early to start.