The treatment you need

You love to hate it.

Motivation is fleeting in the grand scheme of life. It’s not something you’re supposed to rely on to achieve great things either. It’s like the tide that ebbs and flows with the moon of temptation and greatness.

It’s not happens at the beginning that gets you to the finish line. It’s what you do to keep going in the long, arduous middle portion.

Let’s do this mental munchy today.

True grit

You know that one guy who’s always chipper? Always happy and talking about how life is beautiful and wonderful and that they wouldn’t trade it for anything?

These people are everywhere, and while they are like sunshine most of the time, too much exposure to them can do some really weird things to your psyche. They have one of two things that may be true:

1. They’re faking it. It doesn’t take a long time to burst that bubble if you know what to ask.

2. They’ve hacked themselves and are farther along the path that I’m sharing with you.

There’s a third option as well…they just do it to get under other people’s skin and drive them nuts.

We all know the truth, that life is made of ups and downs, hills and valleys, mountains and molehills. We manage the roller coaster ride as best as we can by gripping the sides of the cart as we’re ascending the ramp and raising our hands as we fly down towards the crazy zig zags.

The truth is that constant motivation doesn’t exist.

Having balance overall is rather like that one section in the classic Super Mario brothers video game where there are alternating sections of the ground and nothingness. In order to survive, you have to run nonstop so that you don’t fall into the cracks.

That’s exactly what all endeavors are like.

You need to anticipate emotional fatigue and potential pitfalls beforehand, otherwise you’ll stop halfway through this rough patch. While there’s a small chance you’ll stop at the right spot where there’s ground to stand on, but it’s more likely that you’ll fall into the abyss. Cultivating grit is about keeping the momentum going long after your motivation has faded away, and the daily grind with a dearth of rewards is bombarding you.

Motivation gives you a boost in the beginning, but it won’t carry you through.

Preparations A-G

Managing emotional fatigue requires a small set of ways to give yourself treats on the way.

For example, when I was hacking myself in my 20s figuring out how to manage my weight and my fat to muscle ratio, I went through Tim Ferriss’s method of “no white stuff” from his “4 Hour Work Week” book. It’s really easy to go cold turkey as a single guy because you have full control over what you buy at the grocery store, and I developed a system that worked for me to the point where I could achieve a 10% body fat percentage in a few months.

It’s torture if you’re a parent in your 40s.

While I’ve reached my original weight after five months, I have almost twice the body fat percentage now. The temptation to grab the junk that my family loves to consume is always there (oh to be young again). To manage these emotionally trying moments, I adapted the system of “cheat days” from the book to work better for me.

As a single guy, I went from two days, to one day, to one meal.

As a parent, I keep it at one optional cheat day and one required one. This way, I can flex my cheat days for when my kids beg me to make yummy stuff for them and then keep any surprise cravings for myself to Friday’s when I can pig out with my coworkers at lunch.

It’s a similar approach with the pursuit of writing and content creation.

I do write as often as I can, but there are times when I have to admit that I’m too physically exhausted from kiddy resort management to stay up late. I have days built in so that I can relax and reflect rather than punching away at the keyboard because being a “Night Writer” is not an easy thing as a 9-5 parent.

You need to prepare for moments when you have to step back, when you have to acknowledge your humanity, when you have to let go for a bit.

Preparation H

Yes, the title setup is both a reference to the ointment as well as Austin Powers.

The point of this issue is that you will have moments of complete despair throughout whatever journey or achievement hunting you’re on. If you were thinking of drawing from that spark of motivation or inspiration that propelled you forward at the beginning, you won’t make it. That moment only provided a goal.

You need systems to bolster willpower.

Leaders are ordinary people who step up to meet the moment, but when the moment passes, they fall back to their systems. If those systems aren’t designed specifically to anticipate the challenges at hand, it’s inevitable that these people will ultimately fail to achieve their goals.

The truth burns…hence Preparation H.

You need exhaust vents and release valves if you’re going to weather the storm. It’s a little different for everyone because no two people have the same set of strengths and weaknesses. You may not need nearly as much R&R as I do, and your methods for them aren’t going to be the same either.

Grit isn’t inherited. It’s cultivated through patience, understanding, and execution, not to mention developing the systems that carry you through when your willpower falters.

That’s why the digital heirloom process exists: so that you can figure out what makes you tick and how you operate and pass it on to others.

We’ll talk about what this portion of yours might look like in the next issue.