Three small words to nuke limiting beliefs

“I’m scared!”

His foot dangles about, searching for purchase like a drunk snake on a tree trunk.

The other kids went about their activities, climbing up and down the jungle gym, oblivious to his plight. It wasn’t the first time this scene was playing out, and it certainly wouldn’t be the last.

We were the main characters this time around, though.

“It’s ok. You can do it. You’re almost there.”

I was doing my best supportive father impression, though I’m pretty sure he was already fed up with the whole situation that my words didn’t provide much reassurance. He continued to wiggle his right leg around, inches from the next step down.

“I can’t do it…”, he whined.

Right leg retracted upwards. The left one took its place as he switched positions straddling the ledge. Even if he failed, I was there to catch him. He wasn’t more than forty pounds at the time. At seventy pounds now, it would’ve been another story entirely.

“You can do this. Try again.”

He inched down a bit lower. The right foot arched down, just enough for the tip of his shoe to feel resistance. Bit by bit, he put more weight on the surface.

A few seconds later, he hopped off the ledge to the ground and ran off, his struggle already forgotten as he bounded towards the swing sets.

Your external narratives don’t always align with the internal ones. When push comes to shove, it’s the latter than takes over.

The trick is to reinforce that narrative when it comes to shifting your mindset.

Three powerful phases to shift your inner dialog

“I’m not creative.”

“I’m not good enough.”

“I’m not strong enough.”

These were some of my internal limiting beliefs throughout my life.

• I had years of classical training in music, and the thought of learning jazz was a daunting one because of the first statement.

• I had only been learning swing dance for a month or so, and the thought of approaching one of the most skilled ladies for a session terrified me.

• I was never able to do pull ups throughout my childhood because of the last statement, and I humiliated myself in the fifth grade by hanging like a dewdrop in the physical fitness test.

It took a lot of effort to face these dumb statements, and forcing my inner dialog to change was what did the trick for each of them. It only took three short, magical words that I added to each of these self-limiting beliefs.

The first word is used to infuse motivation and determination.

Yet…

Whatever stupid sentence you use to keep yourself in a cage only needs this wonderful word to start the process.

• “I’m not creative...YET.”

• “I’m not good enough...YET.”

• “I’m not strong enough...YET.”

You see that? By adding this word to the end of these sentences, you now have extended the story and taken what was initially the end of the tale to the beginning of a larger one. Even if you don’t have the momentum to articulate the next part, just using this word is enough to start eroding away the bulwark that previously limited you and stopped all ambition.

When you’re ready, you can swap out this first one for this next word.

But…

That’s right, the conjunction that starts the process of shifting your mindset is this pivotal three-letter word. You must start somewhere, and getting into the habit of adding this nuke after each false narrative sets off a chain reaction that eventually erodes them into the ground.

Once you build the habit of adding it, possibilities start to appear before you.

• “I’m not creative…BUT I’m going to give it my best shot over these next four bars.”

• “I’m still a beginner…BUT this won’t be the last chance to ask her.”

• “I’m not strong enough…BUT I’m going to keep trying.”

Now the narrative starts to give way to opportunities to tackle the root of the problem and shift your identity from that of someone who allows a limitation to define them to someone who accepts that limitation as part of a larger narrative; a work-in-progress that ends in a transformation.

The last word is another conjunction to add on the previous statement.

And…

This one paves the way forward for your mindset shift to take place.

At this point, you’ve already stopped thinking of the internal narrative as a boundary to be accepted. The way forward becomes clear when you place this word at the end. You can start to map out the actions required to move forward.

You become empowered, turning a limiting statement into one that liberates.

• “I’m not creative, but I gave it my best shot, AND here’s what I’ll work on...”

• “I’m still a beginner, but this wasn’t the last chance I had, AND she gave me some great advice for the next moves to practice…”

• “I’m not strong enough, but I tried really hard, AND I know what I’m going to do every day for the next few months until I can do one by myself.”

Each limiting statement is changed into an ongoing process of improvement, one that includes motivational and encouraging sentiment as well as a few additional statements to form the beginnings of a plan.

The world shrinks and expands at the same time with this shift in mindset.

Revising your story is the habit to adopt

Shifting your mindset is a matter of taking matters into your own hands.

It’s YOUR life.

It’s YOUR story.

It’s YOUR journey.

We all have our limiting beliefs that we must overcome for the sake of ourselves, our family, and our friends. Learning to break through the challenges we face requires mastering our inner voice and the narratives we spin for ourselves.

It’s a double-edged sword.

• I went on to learn both jazz piano and violin, and I see myself as a creative individual now in all areas of my life.

• I became someone recognized as a skilled dancer, and I’ve used the experiences to choreograph pieces in several performances.

• I achieved a personal record of 120 pull ups in an hour, and I can still do a few with my three-year-old hanging onto my waist now.

Take a few moments to reflect on one of your self-limiting beliefs that you either hold now or have in the past.

Did you inherit it based on your upbringing? How did you adopt the mindset? Would you be willing to start questioning it based on the possibility of changing the narrative?

Just add the first word and see how it feels.

Next time, I’ll share my thoughts on the shift from another angle…abundance.