What I learned after a week away from my family

I looked out into the audience.

17 years ago, I was in this exact spot, in this exact room.

I was a scared graduate student presenting my work at a technical conference for the first time.

There were three, tired, bored people in the room back then.

My topic was the last thing they had on their minds as they glanced at their watches.

Now there were over twenty people all staring curiously at me waiting to here my talk.

Now, I knew exactly what I wanted to say and why it mattered.

Now, I had years of experience, both personal and professional, not to mention a significant unfair advantage.

I took a breath.

“Alright, let’s get started!”

This was my show.

You have something to share

When you become your own person in the world, you feel like you’re unstoppable.

College made me feel like that.

Those years when you are taking your first steps towards independence are the most exhilarating.

You aren’t completely free yet since you have no income, but being unsupervised feels like you just came up for air in the middle of the deep end.

When you land your first job, it feels like you jumped off a cliff.

When you get married and start a family, it’s like lifting a car.

The weight of the world starts to bear down on you.

You forget that you were the one who made all the decisions to reach this point.

You forget that your choices lead you to share a life with someone you chose to love.

You’re back in survival mode.

Money, time, your sanity, all are immediately given to the cause of providing for your loved ones.

When I stepped away to give a technical presentation, I stepped away from that routine for a week.

It was like taking off a weight vest that I didn’t know I’d been carrying for so long, like those turtle shells that Goku had used to train in “Dragonball” or the hyperbolic time chamber in “Dragonball Z”.

It reminded me that I chose my hard, that parents across the world chose the path that I was walking, and that you always had a choice to step up to the occasion or bow out.

You are responsible for your actions.

You brought the challenges upon yourself.

Giving a technical presentation to a room full of your peers is nothing compared to being a parent.

Remember to do this every now and then

When things get tough…

when they seem overwhelming…

when it looks like there’s no path forward…

take a glance behind you.

See how far you’ve come.

The present looms large, and the future seems even bigger until you turn around and look at the mountain of the past.

You did all that.

You made all that happen.

You overcame all those challenges.

What’s ahead might seem frightening at first, but only because it’s mostly in your head.

Nothing is ever as bad as it seems.

Stay the course.

The journey is what matters.

The destination is the same for all of us.