Writing doesn't immediately reveal you (what actually happens)

I started out regularly writing on Twitter.

Five months into the process, I started this newsletter.

Between the two of them, I’ve iterated on digital presence multiple times.

Each time got me a little closer to where I am now, and I have no doubt that I’ll continue to do so moving forward.

I got a reminder today of just how far I still have to go.

Everything I’m writing about is very much the donut approach. I’ve been pushing from the outside in, from the general approach to clarifying on what I stand for…

But the center is still unfilled.

It still feels like I’m “not there” yet.

But really, that’s the whole point. This writing process is the journey to figure that out for me.

Your identity isn’t static. What we present online is only a snapshot.

We exist in the digital space, but we don’t live as ourselves out here.

Our bios, posts, and overall messages are usually inconsistent. Half represent who we were. A few hint at who we might be. Very few reflect who we are right now.

Even high performers, especially these people, feel this dissonance. “I’ve done the work. Why does none of this feel like it’s ‘mine’?”

Looking back at all I’ve written about over the past few years, I am beginning to see why.

This process we subject ourselves to is more than personal branding. It’s about personal coherence; an alignment between the digital and the analog worlds.

We face a unique challenge that previous generations never dreamed anyone would have to come to terms with: the parity among their identities across their different roles in life and their different roles on the internet.

This newsletter is my attempt to align these two worlds.

I know there’s a fine line between being self-aware and taking action when things feel out of whack. Paralysis by analysis is a very real condition for the vast majority of those who start this journey, and it is just as terrible as the ones who are just “phoning it in” in life.

The truth is that if you bought into the whole internet personal branding “you are the niche” revelation that, to be fair, is really compelling and powerful, then you also know that most who start don’t last long.

This misalignment, discovering the hollowness of building an online identity, is exactly why.

• How can you be expected to be the niche when you don’t even know who you are to begin with?

• How can you build an audience of “like-minded individuals” when you haven’t even done the hard work to draw a bead on what makes you tick?

• How do you take a step back and build in obscurity when you feel like there’s an expectation of success after a few months?

I bought into Dan Koe’s message, but like everyone else initially, I missed the point of what he was saying.

I couldn’t possibly fill in his “2 Hour Writer” Notion template when I started writing because I had no idea how much I had changed or who I was at 40 when the last time I had actively explored my identity was in my late 20s.

I forced myself to do it anyway.

It didn’t “feel right”.

Now I know why.

I wasn’t ready. I wasn’t clear. I wasn’t in-tune with myself.

After writing thousands of tweets and hundreds of articles, I can easily do it now.

It took THAT LONG for me to get to the point that his and so many others courses and guides could be applicable, relevant, and useful to me.

The Digital Heirloom is my solution to those who jump in headfirst at the deep end.

In truth, it was forged in the gaps, the cracks, the crawlspaces of my life while I was juggling my career and my family.

You can’t fully leverage all those courses that these people offer unless you’ve done the background work first.

The funny part is that by the time you’re ready and all of that stuff makes sense, you most likely won’t need it nearly as badly as you thought you did.

If this sounds like you, then you’re in the right place.

Next time, I’ll explain what a digital heirloom is about.