You didn't start it

My grandfather nearly got killed by the Japanese during the second world war.

He was on patrol along the Taiwanese coast when he and the driver narrowly missed the mortar that was lobbed at them one night.

Imagine if it had gone differently…

My mother was pursued by many suitors during her college years.

The one she nearly married came to visit her one night despite bad weather.

He never made it home after the visit.

Imagine if it had gone differently…

When we were children, we had a backyard pool.

I tried to give my brother a piggy back ride at the deep end and barely dragged us back to the shallow end.

Imagine if it had gone differently…

So many pivotal moments that could have taken our destinies down another path.

Our family trees have numerous branches that diverge and end along various points.

• Each generation has a story to tell about how they shaped their choices , their values, their identities.

• Each generation carried forward traditions, created new ideas, propagated discoveries to the next.

They also made decisions on which traditions were no longer acceptable, were determined to more harm than good, or were no longer practical.

If you think about it, your very existence at this moment is the culmination of multitudes of possible outcomes.

It’s a gift, a privilege, a miracle to be you.

Don’t let that go to your head, of course.

Your job is to continue the process and pay it forward.

Your mission (should you choose to accept it)

Well, if you’re reading this, then you’re already on your way.

Of course, it’s always your choice how much effort you put into building a digital heirloom (not to mention it’s a lifelong process).

You’re the one at the head of the ship.

What you decide to keep from your ancestors in terms of traditions, ideals, and values as well as what you create and cultivate from your own life for your descendants matter.

Your actions, big or small, change the heading.

It’s a butterfly effect, but don’t dwell on it or let it get to you. “Paralysis by analysis” is a sucky way to live.

For example, I choose to speak Mandarin to my parents as well as my children. That way they can at least hear the language (beyond changing languages on Netflix) and communicate their love of sweets (my parents give them way too much as it is, though).

This exposure anchors them for when they form their views on their heritage.

Yes, there are challenges to this endeavor (especially as that I myself am not exactly a native speaker).

But it was a decision that I made years ago, and I don’t regret it.

I decided what it meant to be an Asian American for myself.

And that is what I wish to impart to my kids when they’re old enough.

Yeah, yeah…so what?

Indeed.

No matter who you are or how “native” you think you are, we all have common genetic ancestors if you trace it back far enough.

Your awareness of where you stand in this pantheon is totally up to you.

It’s a vast tapestry, and you’re just one thread, but how far back you can see it can affect your behavior as you weave yourself a new section.

So reflect a bit on one family tradition that you’ve cherished and continue to do so.

Christmas is one that I have fond memories of as a child, and now fond memories that are created with each passing year.

While you’re at it, think about another one that you want to either change or create anew.

For me, it’s Lunar New Year.

I didn’t truly appreciate it until I participated in Asian cultural events in college, and it’s one that I’ve started to pick back up as my own kids are getting older.

Just going through the exercise itself is enough to get the wheels turning. You are activating another part of yourself that you may have put to the side or hadn’t considered in the past.

If you’d like to share what you’ve found, comment below!