You've got to be louder than anyone else in your life

Ok, this is where you really dig deep and define the ball bearings that make your life run smoothly.

We’re going to identify a few more core values, anywhere between five and seven total, because let’s face it, any more than that and the term “core” loses its meaning. I’ve done this exercise several times over the course of the past two years, and if you’ve been a long-time reader, then perhaps you’ve come across these articles as well.

Every single time you do this, you’ll discover another level of depth so it’s not wasted effort.

Let’s get to it.

A refresher if you’ve been here before

Core values are like the core memories that the movie “Inside Out” uses to explain how their main character operates.

Without these, there is no clarity in action (principles, remember?) or consistency in behavior. You agree with whatever the last input was to your head, and you become no better than a snack machine that spits out whatever the customer says they want. No guidance, no morals, just a dumb dispenser to the highest bidder.

That’s what a total lack of core values looks like.

Identifying yours is the springboard that launches you to a higher level of confidence and purpose in your life. You know exactly why you feel the way you do about certain things, and you can say “no” with a confidence and conviction that makes it a complete sentence. People will sense it, and the fact that you don’t need to justify or explain yourself becomes evident.

The following questionnaire will help get you started.

What is your name?

Ok, no, that doesn’t count (but I hope you get the reference!)

There are so many out there, but I’ll take a show at making my own for once so here goes nothing:

1. What frustrates you to the point that it’s on your mind all the time?

2. What situation do you see in the world right now that you can’t stop talking about?

3. What’s the first thing that you notice about a person when you meet them for the first time?

4. What’s the first thing you would do in a room if you had complete ownership of it?

5. If money was no object, what activity would you do for the rest of your life?

6. If today was the last day of your life, who would you want to spend it with and why?

7. You have one word to sum up your lifestyle. What is it?

For the sake of brevity, let’s leave it at that, but rest assured that this is barely the surface.

Don’t hate me for this, but AI is a very powerful tool now as well that I hadn’t considered the first few times that I did this exercise. Back then, I didn’t see it as a viable alternative, but things have changed.

Here’s an example prompt that you can use for your AI of choice.

You play the role of a professional therapist or profiler. Can you come up with a series of questions to ask me so that you can then provide me with a list of 5 to 7 core values that you determine I may have? Please ask me 15 questions in this series before providing this list.

I popped this into ChatGPT and got back this series of questions:

It’s actually a really good set of questions for the first pass. If you’re curious as to the results from my responses, let me know, and I’ll do a follow up to this.

Come to think of it, everything that I’ve discussed in the past could benefit from using AI to facilitate this exploration…funny that I never really thought about providing this perspective until now.

You have to do the legwork

Core values aren’t going to magically appear before you, and if you already know yours from the previous exercise, then congratulations!

You don’t know who you truly are until you’ve been put to task in life situations. You may think so from reflection and introspection, but what you do and what you say can be vastly different.

• Everyone thinks they’re an amazing speaker until they face a small crowd.

• Everyone thinks they will do the right thing until the right price has been offered.

• Everyone thinks they can defend themselves until the gun is pointed right to their head.

This is why when you answer the questions posited to you either by me or by AI, honesty and from personal experience are paramount. Don’t respond with what you THINK you’ll do, respond with what you DID.

Next time we’ll talk about the principles, action that you take based on your core values.